Monthly Archives: July 2015

27 Things New Dads Should Never Say to New Moms – 25 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids – Dudes To Dads Ep 21

To celebrate the podcast achieving 21, we have created two lists that are crucial to keep in the “mind database” for dads.  While we set out to include 21 items in both lists, there was simply too much too include that we had to expand the lists.  Jason’s friend Kevin joins this podcast to help provide input on the lists.  We suggest you study these, keep them as reference, and use them as guidelines on what NOT to say.  Good parenting usually indicates to focus on the positives rather than the negatives, but we just want to be sure dads are aware that these statements shall NEVER leave your tongue.  Please feel free to comment or provide your suggestions to add to the lists.  While you can listen here, we also provided links to the blog post for each list.

27 Things New Dads Should Never Say to New Moms – This list is crucial to understand just after you have had your child.  Of course you are both tired and walking around like zombies, but it gives you know excuse to make these comments.

25 Things You Should Never Say to Your Kids – We are all guilty of saying things that we shouldn’t to our kids.  It’s important to recognize that the statements you make to your kids are powerful.  You must be mindful of what you are saying as your words can help shape the child.…

25 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

We all try to be the best parents we can be.  Sometimes we slip and say the wrong things.  When we get mad or upset, there is even more likelihood that we will say something we shouldn’t.  While we don’t always have bad intentions, our words we say to our kids can have long term, devastating effects.  This list was compiled as a fun exercise for our podcast.  We really do need to be mindful of the words that come out of our mouth. Some of these are horrible while others are just not appropriate.  In most cases, the words should have never have left our mouth.  If you want to hear more detail about these, listen to our Dudes To Dads Episode 21 which covers this list and our 27 Things New Dads Should Never Say To New Moms.

Here are: 25 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids:

1. I hope someday you end up with a kid just like you.
2. Your mom/dad is an idiot.
3. You’re the _____ one, and your sibling is the ______ one.
4. Shut up!
5. Why can’t you be more like your brother/sister?
6. Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!
7. Why can’t you do anything right?
8. There’s no reason to be scared. Just do it
9. That’s what you get for not listening
10. You’re a bad girl/boy!
11. I hate my body
12. I was bad at math too. You take after me!
13. Just let me do it for you
14. You look so much better when you…
15. Children should be seen not heard
16. Is that the best you can do?
17. The police are going to come and get you if you do that
18. Wait until …

27 Things New Dads Should Never Say to New Moms

Congratulations, you are a dad! You just had your baby and are filled with love, fear, and every other emotion possible.  While all of the excitement (and lack of sleep) is going on, you’ll want to remember to think before you speak.  Of course you wouldn’t intentionally say anything to bother or hurt your wife.  However just because you didn’t intend evil, doesn’t mean it’s ok to say.  Here at Dudes To Dads we wanted to provided a little advice on what you shouldn’t say to a new mom.  If you need further explanation of these, listen to the Dudes To Dads Podcast Episode 21 which covers these.  We also have created the list of 25 Things You Should Never Say To Your Kids

Here are 27 Things New Dads Should Never Say to New Moms:

1. Can I get a little privacy here?
2. That’s a mom’s job
3. What did you do all day?
4. Are we eating this for dinner again?
5. Stop Worrying!
6. Why is this house so messy?
7. Where is the/my ________?
8. Why didn’t you _____?
9. Can’t you stop the baby from crying?
10. It’s your turn to change the diaper
11. Honey, you go out, I’m happy to babysit
12. I think I’m too tired to help with the baby tonight
13. Must be nice hanging out with the baby all day
14. You Look tired
15. Why don’t we start formula feeding
16. I can’t remember the last time we had sex
17. The kid will be fine
18. Are you going to take a shower?
19. When are you going to lose that baby weight?
20. I’m a bit busy today, can you run some errands for me?
21. Can you believe your mom said ______
22. …

Kids in Sports, Brushing Hair, Bathing Battle – Dudes To Dads Ep 20

Jason’s longtime friend Kevin visits the podcast for Episode 20.  Kevin is a dad of 2 (boy and girl) and is a friend of Jason’s for over 30 years.  We begin the episode in a debate about children in sports and while there can be some great benefits to the children, there can also be a sacrifice of quality/family time to do it as well as free time for the children. Kevin coaches both of his kid’s teams and emphasizes the parent’s role in how the child is going to perceive it.  In Stuff To Do, Jason suggests allowing your kids to help you in a project in which you had not thought of.  Jason was putting together a desk for his son and decides to include both his 5  year old daughter and 7 year old son into the process.  While it may take a little longer, it was an activity that everyone enjoyed.  In the Mailbag, a listener Greg writes that he has a lot of difficulty brushing his daughter’s hair and the guys provide their own stories to help solve the problem.  With the Battlefield and kids not wanting to bathe, Kevin tells the story of how he uses the “Stinkpass” to allow his children the opportunity once a week not to choose to bathe.  If they keep it, they may get a reward.  Jason used the tactic of being very calm and “killing them with kindness” to get through a potentially dangerous battlefield.  We finish out the episode with a quote from DeeAnn Stewart from “What Spock Forgot.”

SEGMENTS

Welcome & Intros (0:00) – Jason’s good friend Kevin joins this episode.

Dad’s Debate (6:20) – Kids in Sports.  What age to enter competitive sports?

Stuff to Do (16:26) – Include them in a project you had …

Anti-Mobile Phone Rant, Children with Phones, Kinetic Sand – Dudes To Dads Ep 19

In episode 19 we begin with welcoming more international listeners.  We are getting more listeners from Canada as well as new listeners from New Zealand and Romania.  It’s pretty amazing that the podcast is starting to reach an international audience.  Jason starts off with a rant about cell phones.  It seems people don’t know how to socialize anymore.  He was listening to the radio and they were discussing how over 50% of people in a restaurant were on their phones while having dinner with their families.  Whether you are having a meal, at the playground, or anywhere else with your kids/family, put the devices down and pay attention.  We learn face to face and that personal interaction is priceless.  This is the recommendation in Stuff To Do.  Simply put the phone down and play with your kids.  In SuperCharge we talk about Kinetic Sand which is a really cool product that allows you to mold and play with sand even indoors without making a mess. Our email is from Gabe who asks if we are ever going to do video.  While video recording would be nice, we simply don’t have the time/resources to currently do it.  It’s an excuse but a pretty good one as video adds a big layer of complexity.  Dr. Ellen Kreidman in Light Her Fire suggests we catch our kids doing something good for a change.  We wrap up the episode with a quote from Jason “Put your phone away.  Your child will appreciate it and so will your relationship with your child”.

SEGMENTS

Welcome & Intros (0:00) – Jason goes on a rant about mobile phones and his dislike for them.

Dad’s Debate (13:59) – What age does a child get a mobile phone?

Stuff to Do (23:09) – Put the phone down and play …

Empathy Towards Your Kids, You Are Special, Listening To Women – Dudes To Dads Ep 18

The theme for episode 18 is Empathy.  We talk about how we now have international listeners from Canada, Austria, Nicaragua, etc. The local news also stopped by to interview Jason. A brief part of the interview did air on the local news and you can see it here.  Empathy is defined as the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.  It really applies to everyone: kids, work, and your spouse. In SuperCharge we introduce the book “You are Special” by Max Lucado. It’s a story of Punchinello, the wooden Wemmick.  The story reminds us that we are wonderful just the way we are.  We then go into the The Battlefield and talk about how children need empathy much more than a solution.  We often think because we know more that we need to provide advice.  They just want to be heard.   The Light Her Fire segment also discusses empathy in which women just want you to listen.  Do not give them advice unless they ask for it.  To emphasize this, we do Dad’s Homework which is to not give anyone advice for a week unless they ask for it.  We finish out the episode with a quote from Stephen Covey: “When you show deep empathy toward others, their defensive energy goes down, and positive energy replaces it. That’s when you can get more creative in solving problems.”

SEGMENTS

Welcome & Intros (0:00) – Theme for this podcast is Empathy, International listeners

Supercharge (6:22) – The Book “You are Special” by Max Lucado

The Battlefield (12:50) –  Being empathetic toward your child versus telling them things are ok.

Light Her Fire (19:28) – Listen instead of providing solutions

Dad’s Homework (26:01) – Do not give advice or instruction unless asked.

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