Monthly Archives: December 2015

Card Games, Long Car Rides, School Uniforms Debate, Affection Issues – Dudes To Dads Ep 43

We kick off the episode with Stuff to Do.  In Stuff To Do, we suggest playing good, old school card games with your kids.  Although Jason tells the story of teaching  his kids blackjack, we are suggesting to stick with traditional family friendly games such as Crazy eights, Go Fish, Old Maid, War, Memory, Rummy, etc.  We then move into a discussion about long car rides in The Battlefield.  Kids will complain and whine the entire trip.  Traffic, being hungry, and having to go to the bathroom can ruin a potentially good trip.  One suggestion from Jason is to begin the vacation as soon as you get into the car.  This mentally helps you relax (a little) versus being in a hurry in order to get there and relax.

Jason offers these tips for surviving long car rides:

– Travel heavy – pack lots of toys and entertainment
– Make frequent stops
– Try to avoid traffic
– Go at a time when they may be able to sleep

In SuperCharge, we introduce a Snack/activity tray for the car  This is perfect for allowing the kids to do thing and eat while you are driving.   We then dive into a Dad’s Debate by discussing whether public schools should have school uniforms.  Alan begins against it but later begins to understand some of the points Jason brings up and “almost” agrees.  We read an email from Morgan in Alberta, Canada for the Mailbag segment.  He has a little difficulty being affectionate toward his 8 year old son.  We basically tell him to get over it and do it anyway.  Your son needs it and so do you.   For Dad’s homework, we suggest going on a one on one date with your child.  If you have more than one child, schedule individual

Character – Fathers Must Lead By Example – Dudes To Dads Ep 42

A Father must lead by example and the character of the person is of utter importance.  In this espisode, Jason and Alan discuss how crucial it is to have good character for our kids but also provide some ways to develop good character in our children.  Jason begin the episode with a quote from Marilyn Price-Mitchell, PhD: “Character, not beauty, high test scores, or wealth – account for life satisfaction.”  The guys then go on to share 21 tips for building character taken from Dr. Helen LeGette’s book, “Parents, Kids & Character: Twenty-One Strategies to Help Your Children Develop Good Character.”  This book was written in 1999 and the tips appear on www.charactered.net.  The guys review the tips and offer explanation throughout:

  1. Model good character in the home.
  2. Be clear about your values.
  3. Show respect for your spouse, your children, and other family members.
  4. Model and teach your children good manners.
  5. Have family meals together without television as often as possible.
  6. Plan as many family activities as possible. Involve your children in the planning.
  7. Get actively involved in your children’s school life, both at school and at home.
  8. Don’t provide your children access to alcohol or drugs.
  9. Plan family service projects or civic activities.
  10. Read to our children and keep good literature in the home.
  11. Limit your children’s spending money.
  12. Discuss the holidays and their meanings.
  13. Capitalize on the “teachable moment.”
  14. Assign home responsibilities to all family members.
  15. Set clear expectations for your children and hold them accountable for their actions.
  16. Keep your children busy in positive activities.
  17. Learn to say no and mean it.
  18. Know where your children are, what they are doing, and with whom.
  19. Refuse to cover for your children or make excuses for their inappropriate behavior.
  20. Know what television shows, videos, and

Consistency – A Key Ingredient in Being a Father – Dudes To Dads Ep 41

We all hear and know about consistency, but how many of us practice it in parenting?  Jason and Alan explore the importance of consistency in being a dad.  Young children prefer consistency.  They know what to expect and crave routine.  This starts when the baby is just born.  You learn early on that being consistent with feedings,  bath time, sleep patterns, etc. makes your life a little more predictable and the baby calmer.  Now of course when the routine is broken, we can go crazy and think the universe is out of whack.

As a child gets older, it means that rules and expectations are the same from one time to another.  It allows the world to be less confusing.  It frees them from worrying about what happens next.  Do you wonder why a young child wants to watch the same movie over and over?  or wants to read the same book every night?  What about wearing the same costume every single day?

Jason mentions an article from from about.com: http://fatherhood.about.com/od/effectivediscipline/a/consistency.htm which talks about 3 basic ways fathers need to demonstrate consistency:

  • Consistency in rules and consequences
  • Consistency between parents
  • Consistent routines

The university of Alabama also had an article on why consistency is important.  Here are some of the reasons:

– It gives the child a sense of security
– Children of consistent parents experience less anxiety
– Daily routines cause a more peaceful home life
– Helps develop their sense of responsibility because they know what is expected of them
– Consistent rules cause less pushing of limits.  Quickly learn no means no
– Less temper tantrums, arguing, and bargaining as they grow
– Inconsistency can cause confusion, poor self esteem, and often time negative values

So what do we do to be more consistent:
– Pick a …

Dads Should Be a Coach, Not a Parent – Dudes To Dads Ep 40

Definition of Parent: To act as a mother of father, protector or guardian. To rear and nurture.

Definition of Coach: to give instruction or advice

We certainly may be both of those things but in this episode, Jason and Alan discuss how being a Coach can create a different mindset on how to deal with your kids.  When you begin to think of yourself as a coach, teacher, or instructor, you can be much more effective with your kids.  We want them to be moral, contributing members of society.  Not that every situation has to be a learning experience, but how we interact with them is crucial.

Jason provides the example of his 5 year old crying before school because she can’t find her shoes. His incorrect reaction was “Why do you not put your shoes in the same spot every day. Then you know they are there” His daughter’s response is to get even more upset. You are then teaching her that she is doing something wrong. She doesn’t think about how to fix it, she’s thinking simply that dad is being mean. You have accomplished nothing. Attempting to fix things during an emotional moment for a 5 year old is worthless.

For Jason, he has to remind himself and remember that his daughter is 5. She is trying to figure out the world around her. Even finding her shoes can be a big deal. It’s a bigger deal if they can’t be found. The world is about to end.  The answer is to try and help right then and solve the problem.  Maybe say to her: “Oh, you can’t find your shoes? That would be frustrating. Let me see if I can help you find them.” She then feels supported and then at a different time you can …

Bullying & What If Your Kid Is The Bully – Interview With Parenting Expert Dr. Deborah Gilboa (Doctor G) – Dudes To Dads Ep 39

Parenting Expert and Board Certified Family Physician Dr. Deborah Gilboa (aka Doctor G) joins Jason and Alan for Episode 39 recorded on location at the Paradise Point Resort & Spa in San Diego.  Doctor G is also a mother of 4 and an international parenting writer & speaker.  The topic for this episode is bullying.  Kids are being bullied, on the playground, at school, among friends, with siblings, and the most powerful one of cyber bullying (online).

Social media doesn’t allow the child to escape the bullying.  Here  are some stats from rawhide.org

72% of teens report cyber-bullying in the past year
25% report being bullied more than once
90% of teens say they have seen someone be mean or cruel to another person on social media
95% of teens who witnessed bullying on social media report that others, like them, have ignored the behavior

There are also a lot of types of bullying:

  • Exclusion
  • Cyberstalking
  • Gossip
  • Outing/Trickery
  • Harassment
  • Impersonation
  • Cyber Threats
  • Flaming

Here are some other interesting stats on bullying for teens:

66% respond to the bully
15% skip school because of bullying (3 million children skip school each month)
25% have a face to face altercation with the bully
8% get in a physical fight
1 in 5 consider suicide
1 in 10 attempt suicide

When your kid is the bully it’s important to focus on the behavior and not the child.  In other words, talk about how the behavior is bad, not that the child is bad.  So they may have tried bullying, and it wasn’t ok.  Ask the questions like “What else could you have done?” or “Is there a different way to handle the situation?”

Bullying is a natural part of adolescence, it’s just not accepted behavior.  We need to teach our children to understand …

Let's get social on Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn!