Monthly Archives: April 2016

10 Things To Give Up to Be Happy – Dudes To Dads Ep 60

I came across this awesome article by Meadow Devor which discusses 10 Things To Give Up to Be Happy.  This article really hit home and I wanted to discuss it on Episode 60.  The article appeared on The Good Men Project which is a great resource for men.

1. Give up your need for control – Why do we try to control things that can’t be controlled?  It’s a waste of energy.

2. Give up your need to be right – Do you want to be loved or be right?

3. Give up your criticism (of yourself and others) – Learn to accept others.  Focus on what is right versus what is wrong.

4. Give up your need for people to understand you – Many people feel misunderstood.

5. Give up your desire to be liked – Everyone wants to feel loved.  But making effort to be liked can also cause you to do things you wouldn’t normally do.

6. Give up your resistance to change – Change is inevitable.  Resistance create suffering.

7. Give up trying to please others – It’s virtually impossible to please everyone.  It takes too much effort.

8. Give up your attachment to the past – You can’t move forward if you are too focused on the past.  The moment is now.

9. Give up your need for acknowledgement – Jason provides an example of Feeding the fish versus going fishing.  The course Freedom to Be was an awesome course that teaches these kinds of concepts.

10. Give up your distractions – Distractions keep you from being able to focus on what is more important.

 

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10 Ways to Reduce Your Negativity – Your Kids Are Watching – Dudes To Dads Ep 59

As parents we have to be careful that our kids are watching everything we do.  If we want to teach our kids something, we have to live that way or emulate that ourselves.  We often don’t realize how much of an impact our actions affect our children.  For this episode 59, we discuss negativity and offer 10 ways to reduce negativity.  Of course this is easier said than done.  It’s takes practice and a continual focus on ways you show your kids to be positive rather than negative.  Here are:

10 Ways to Reduce Your Negativity

1. Start listing what you are grateful for – focus on what is good

2. Walk or exercise – get your body moving

3. Do something creative – paint, write, get it out

4. Help Others

5. Talk about it – either with a friend or therapist

6. Change the negative thought into a positive – previous episode I talked about getting out of bed early to go workout.  I think about how good it will feel afterward

7. Surround yourself with positive people

8. Meditation – be still, quiet, think about nothing

9. Change your state – sit up, put a smile on your face, stand tall (Tony Robbins)

10. Take positive action – take a break, walk away, do something…

Parent Procrastination – We’ll Get To It Later – 11 Ways to Beat Procrastination – Dudes To Dads Ep 58

This episode 58 is about procrastination.  We make excuses that as parents, we don’t have time.  The truth is it’s just not a priority.  We review an article by Dr. Travis Bradberry that appeared in LinkedIn.  Here is a link to the article.  “Ridiculously productive people face the same procrastination challenges as the rest of us. The difference is, they beat procrastination by using a calculated approach.”  It is also said the procrastination is rooted in emotion.
Here are 11 Ways to Beat Procrastination: 
1. You must first understand why you procrastinate – Could be simple as needing a break or as complicated as you hate the situation you are in
2. Remove your obstacles – emails, phone calls
3. Jump right in, no matter what – we often are worried we don’t something right, just do it!
4. Cut holes in your project – often a project seems too big, make it smaller

5. Be in the right environment – keep TV, electronics, etc. away6. Enjoy small victories – cross it off the list

7. Get real – set realistic goals that are possible

8. Take control of your self-talk – Do not say “I will not procrastinate” because you will.  Instead say what you are going to do and how great it will feel when you do it. (working out in the morning)

9. Don’t be a perfectionist – can’t so something if you never start.  For a writer, “you can edit a bad page, but you can’t edit a blank page”

10. Focus on results – Think how great it going to feel to be done

11. Forgive yourself – don’t beat yourself up for procrastinating

12 Ways to Teach Our Kids Self-Acceptance – We Must Practice, Practice, Practice – Dudes To Dads Ep 57

 We focus on self-acceptance for episode 57 and present “12 ways to teach our kids self-acceptance”.  Self awareness is ok, but it gets us in trouble.  The real key is acceptance.  The more you raise your awareness level, the more your acceptance level needs to be raised.  This is where most of us fall short.  Self acceptance is defined as an individual’s satisfaction or happiness with oneself.

Here are the  12 Ways to Teach Our Kids Self-Acceptance:

1. Always have compassion for others – bully’s, mean kids
2. Quiet your inner critic – separate it from who you are
3. Celebrate strengths
4. Failure is ok. Even if we have failure, it doesn’t mean we are a failure
5. Focus your energy on what you can control, not what you can’t
6. Fake it ’til you make it – Think first and then you will know, practice
7. Do charitable things – help others in need
8. Who’s around you? Surround yourself with people who believe in you
9. Come up with a mantra – “I can do this, I am doing my best”
10.  Value effort and courage instead of accomplishments
11. Talk about your feelings – good/bad
12. Teach them they are worthy just the way they are

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