Monthly Archives: June 2016

How To Reduce Your Risk of Divorce – Check Out The Statistics – Dudes To Dads Podcast Ep 69

Not all divorce rates are created equal. There are numerous factors that can contribute to divorce. An article by Glenn Stanton provides some interesting statistics regarding divorce.

Cohabitation: cohabiting couples have a 50-80 percent higher likelihood of divorce than non-cohabiting couples.

Age: those who marry after age eighteen have a 24 percent reduced risk of divorce.

Age Difference: marriages where there is a significant difference in age have twice the risk of divorce than those in which the couples are close in age.

Education: only 27 percent of college graduates will divorce by middle age.

Family Background: having parents who have never divorced reduces divorce risk by 14 percent.

Marital History: being previously divorced markedly elevates one’s risk of divorce.

Income: having a collective annual household income of $50,000 or more is associated with a 30 percent lower divorce risk.

Beliefs: going into a marriage with husband and wife holding a strong personal conviction that marriage is for life protects against divorce.

Desire for Children: a marriage in which the wife desires children but the husband does not is at a 50 percent greater risk of divorce.

Sexual History: marrying as non-virgins is associated with “considerably higher” risk of divorce and “dramatically more unstable first marriages.”

Smoking: couples in which one partner smokes and the other does not are markedly more likely to divorce compared to couples in which neither spouse does. Marriages in which both smoke were more than twice as likely to dissolve compared with non-smoking couples.

Another article had some surprising statistics about divorce in America:

1. Someone gets divorced every 10 to 13 seconds

2. Those who marry when between the ages of 20 to 24 have the highest rate of divorce. These couples are nearly twice as likely to get divorced as those who get …

Why Dads Are Better Than Moms – Dudes To Dads Podcast Ep 68

Disclaimer: This entire episode is full of stereotypes, gender bias, and more. It goes against many things we typically talk about on the podcast. But it’s fun. …and to my wife: I love you.

1) Dads are better at playing – We just have more fun with kids than moms do. We like to get dirty, run, jump, or kick and throw things around.

2) Dads are better at rough housing – Activities like wrestling. A friend once said all the worlds problems can be solved by wrestling. We just enjoy it more.

3) Dads are funnier – We just are. Have you heard mom’s tell jokes? They are typically only funny to other moms. And often not that funny.

4) Dads are more relaxed – Well maybe not in my house, but in other houses they probably are.

5) Dads get the kids to listen more – While it could be the higher likelihood of louder and deeper voices (which can be scary), we prefer to think it’s just our skills and the way we communicate.

6) Dads are better at winning stuff – Going to fair and need to win a stuffed animal? Give the darts, baseballs, or water gun to dad

7) Dads are better at sound effects – As you may hear occasionally on this show, we just have a knack for making sounds with our mouths. Mom’s just don’t do that. It can be very entertaining to babies and toddlers. This also applies to character voices in books.

8) Dads are better at letting kids push their boundaries – Dads are more likely to allow their kids to be in a little more danger than mom would

9) Dads are better at skipping rocks – Heck, let’s just make this one better at throwing and …

It’s Hard To Be A Dad – Celebrate The Small Wins

One of the main reasons I started Dudes To Dads was to help other dads understand that what they are feeling is very common and that they are not alone in their journey. In the Dudes to Dads Podcast Episode 67 I brought some specific topics up that not only did I have difficulty dealing with, I often see dads struggling with the issues as well.

A lot of people struggle, including myself, with trying to figure life out. The crazy thing is that it seems the more you care about things, the more difficult your life “seems”. The time when your kids are young, from newborn to 3-4 is the hardest.

Of course it is always easy to compare yourself to others and what you see around you. This guy has more money, that guy seems to have a great marriage, that other guy always seems happy.

Remember, it’s not about what level of anything you achieved, but your self acceptance of that level. If you are always trying to attain perfection or even lofty goals, you may never achieve acceptance of where you are.

This doesn’t mean you can’t improve things but what if you took a different approach. What if you looked at the various components of your life and evaluated where you were in the past and where you are now.

I’ll give you an example for myself: with this Dudes To Dads podcast. If I never think of it as successful until we accomplish X (number of downloads, episodes, or whatever), I’m never going to be happy with it. Instead if I looked at where we were a year ago.  We have created 52 podcasts over the course of a year, created a tremendous amount of content to help dads, and insanely increased our listener …

It’s Hard To Be A Dad – Where & Why We Struggle – Dudes To Dads Ep 67

The reason for this episode is not that I needed to complain or get something off my chest. It really is intended so that dads out there listening understand that what they are feeling, is very common and they are not alone.

A lot of people struggle, including myself, with trying to figure life out. I think that the time when your kids are young, from newborn to 3-4 is the hardest.

Of course it is always easy to compare yourself to others and what you see around you. This guy has more money, that guy seems to have a great marriage, that other guy always seems happy.

Remember, it’s not about what level of anything you achieved, but your self acceptance of that level. If you are always trying to attain perfection or even lofty goals, you may never achieve acceptance of where you are.

This doesn’t mean you can’t improve things but what if you took a different approach. What if you looked at the various components of your life and evaluated where you were in the past and where you are now.  Jason goes on to give the example o the podcast and comparing where it was a year ago with where it is now.

Here are the 4 areas that are covered in the episode:

 

1) Professionally – Our job or career. Are we doing our life’s purpose or are we doing this because it pays our bills? It’s really difficult if you aren’t doing something you enjoy. If you are an entrepreneur, it can be even more difficult. So what do you do? Ask yourself, what do other people often say you are good at? That’s probably what you should be doing. Even if you make less money, it may be worth exploring to …

Ways to Say “No” to Your Child Without Saying No – Dudes To Dads Ep 66

It’s crazy how many times a child is told no in a given day.  Episode 66 shares ideas on how to say “No” in a way that your child will respond better to.  It’s important to tell your child what to do instead of what not to do.  This episode is inspired by the article: http://www.parents.com/toddlers-preschoolers/discipline/tips/discipline-without-saying-no/ written by Mike Mitchell.

Here are some examples:

– Instead of saying “no running”, say “walk”.

– “I know you like ice cream, but eating too much is not good.” – avoid the promise of tomorrow. Saying “maybe tomorrow” is bad.

– “I know you really want the candy, but we are not having it. Don’t say “right now”

– “Food is for eating, not for playing.”

– “Books are for reading, not for ripping.”

“Plants and flowers need to grow. We need to be really careful with them.”

“We use our words, not our hands – to keep kids from hitting when they are acting out”

“Tell me in your regular voice. – avoid stop whining or “we don’t whine”

Be silly – make them laugh

“Can daddy have that? you can have this.” Whether it’s your phone or keys, replace what you are taking with something they can hold.

“Chairs are for sitting, not for standing.”

Danger” or “Stop” when the child is in potential harms way. You raise your voice a bit. Like if they were to touch a stove.

As you can see there are a lot of ways to say no without saying it.  Next time you want to say “no” to your child, think of a more positive way to express the “no”.…

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