Monthly Archives: January 2017

Interview With Jason’s Dad – Ep 100

We are celebrating our 100th episiode.  I wanted to celebrate the occasion by bringing in my dad, Steve.  Even if just for selfish reasons to be able to document this conversation, I think the listeners will gain some valuable insight. I wanted to get the perspective of fatherhood from the previous generation and gather some insight from someone who has now been through the full life cycle of being a dad.  He is the father of 3 and the grandfather of 8.…

Teaching Our Kids Respect – Dudes To Dads Ep 99

In this episode 99, we provide tips and techniques on how to teach our children respect. Respect is very close to manners. It’s essential we teach our kids respect for people, places, things, and themselves. Here are some tips:

Create house/family rules – Agree on how you want to handle these kind of situations with your wife. It’s important to be on the same page. Make a chart of family rules: for example – “be nice to each other” “talk with a calm voice” Include the child in the process.

Set realistic expectations – It is easy to overreact. Be careful not to. When your child does something that you feel is not respectful, call them out on it but be calm. There is no need to overreact.

Deal with it when they are young – The longer you wait, the more difficult it is going to be to implement correct behavior.

Start with manners – Teaching them please and thank you when they are very young is a good way to begin teaching respect. You can listen to episode 48 for more information on teaching our kids manners.

Model respectful behavior – When they are yelling, talk calmly. Be firm and respectful towards them. Be sure to listen and be interested in what they are saying. Show respect toward others, especially your spouse and them.

Apologize When You Mess Up – This is really important that they see you recognize that you weren’t being respectful and have an opportunity to fix it.

Don’t take it personally – We have a tendency to take things so personally. The child may lack the skills or practice but they are not typically trying to “get at you”. Act calmly, but don’t ignore it.

Follow Through – If you make a consequence for …

49 Life Skills Dads Should Teach Their Kids – Dudes To Dads Ep 98

I don’t care whether you have a boy or girl, we as dads should be teaching our kids the following. These are in no particular order or have an age requirement.  Just get out there and do it:

1. Ride a bike

2. Light a match

3. Light a barbeque (both gas and charcoal)

4. Setup and light a campfire

5. Tie a knot

6. Use a hammer

7. Use a screwdriver

8. Setup a tent for camping

9. Change a tire

10. Iron a shirt

11. Bait a fishing line

12. Coil a rope, hose, extension cord

13. Use a knife for carving

14. Tipping – How much, when, who

15. Look people in the eye when talking to them

16. Throw a ball

17. Use a bat

18. Kick a ball

19. Shoot a basketball

20. Swing a golf club

21. Bowl a bowling ball

22. Throw a punch/defend from a punch

23. Lead by example

24. Ask for what you want

25. Learning to dance is important

26. Learn to say no and feel good about it

27. How to drive

28. Affection is good

29. How to use a credit card

30. How to handle money

31. How to deal with stress

32. Skip rocks

33. Build a sand castle

34. Wash a car

35. Fix a bike chain

36. Wrestle

37. Pump gas

38. Wash windows

39. Use an alarm clock

40. Make food – pasta, soup, nachos

41. Ordering at a restaurant

42. Pack a suitcase

43. Floss and brush their teeth

44. Introduce themsevles

45. Shakes someones hand

46. Shake hands when you lose

47. Exercise – push ups, pull ups

48. Don’t ever gossip

49. Be nice to your mother…

Getting Kids to Clean Up – Dudes To Dads Ep 97

Kids live in the moment.  Cleaning takes them away from the moment of fun they could be having.

We don’t cover “chores” or giving kids money for doing things they are supposed to do.  Many parents get so frustrated with the topic, they just end up doing everything themselves.  The reality is that kids are way more capable than we give them credit for.  It is also up to us to teach them how to clean up after themselves and take care of things.

We suggest establishing some overall cleaning ideas and rules:

  • As a family we are a team.  We all help each other.
  • Positive attitude.  We take pride in our home and appreciate the things we have

Define clearly what is expected  – how often, define exactly what needs to be done.  Like “Make your bed, put clothes in hamper, etc.
Keep things organized – It is easier to keep clean when things have designated places.  For example, there may be a large toy bin where certain toys go.  Or all stuffed animals are on a shelf.  Whatever it may be.
Set a good example – not putting my computer case or lunch bad away would not set a good example.  also try to pretend like it’s not that bad…maybe that you even enjoy it.
Verbalize your appreciation – “Thank you so much for cleaning up your food”
Be direct – Don’t be needy or anxious

I think there are 4 categories:  Food, Toys, Clothes, & Room

Food

  • Establish a favorite cup and/or plate.  Use the same one for every drink/meal.
  • All trash must be thrown away before anything else is eaten
  • If they are old enough to walk, they can bring dishes to sink.  At 4-5 years old, they should clean the dishes and put in dishwasher.

Making Mistakes is Good For Everyone – 7 Ways to Handle Mistakes – Dudes To Dads Ep 96

I am not sure how it evolved, I’m sure the product of my childhood, but I grew up thinking everything was supposed to be perfect. If it wasn’t, then something is wrong. Still as an adult, I struggle with this. I must be a perfect husband. I have to be a perfect father, etc. While striving for positivity and growth is good, it can also be a no-win situation. If you don’t have self-acceptance, you are screwed.

I also fellt like those around me should be perfect as well. When we create these kind of expectations, we will never be happy, satisfied, and we certainly won’t create value and support for those around us. You are setting everyone up to fail.

I have been thinking about this a lot lately. When we mess up or our kids mess up, we really don’t want to be corrected. We more than likely want empathy, maybe some re-assurance, and some love. Recently my 8 year old son was doing an activity he really enjoys. Something he is really good at. However he made a mistake and the outcome was not what he wanted. He was really upset at himself. I totally saw myself in him at that moment. I am really hard on myself as well. My parents never really needed to say anything about my grades or sports. I was really hard on myself. Certainly as a parent, I did not need to correct him and point out his mistake. I did not intervene and instead saw him work to recover himself from the situation.

I thought for quite a while what I would want someone to say to me when this happens. I would want to know that making mistakes are ok.

After the situation was done, I said to him, …

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