Monthly Archives: September 2017

9 Values To Teach Your Child – Dudes To Dads Ep 134

In episode 134 Alan and Jason discuss 9 values dad can teach their kids.  Here they are in no particular order:

1. Respect – Have respect for other people, yourself, and things around you.

2. Honesty – Tell the truth. Sometimes it’s really hard, to tell the truth.

3. Being Polite – Say please and thank you.

4. Responsibility – Daily tasks such as brushing teeth and doing homework without being reminded teach responsibility.

5. Patience – Not everything happens quickly. It can take a long time for things to come about.

6. Gratitude – It’s the secret to happiness

7. Don’t Give Up – Quitting will not get you where you want to go.

8. Love – Allow them to express their emotions. Give them hugs, kisses, and say I love you often.

9. Empathy – The most important element in getting along with others.…

Anger Management for Dads – Tips to Control Your Temper – Dudes to Dads Ep 133

Anger is a real. We all get angry. But as a dad, it’s important we learn how to control our anger as our kids are watching. They see how we react and how we deal with things. Most of us don’t want to be angry, we just sometimes can’t help it. Although the reality is that it is a choice. While re-wiring our brain is the best answer, it may not be realistic for everyone.

Let’s start out by discussing a few types of anger. There are many but these seem to be some common ones:

Passive anger – usually is displayed in some not so obvious way. People may use the term “passive/aggressive”. Jokes, avoidance of a situation

Overwhelmed anger – sometimes used to relieve stress or pain, caused by life’s demands that could be too much

Volatile anger – builds and then erupts like a volcano. Expressed either physically or verbally.

Self-inflicted anger – this is directed at yourself, could be from guilt or shame guilt

Judgmental anger – which is directed toward others. Being critical, belittling others.

Chronic anger – which is prolonged, ongoing and can greatly affect someone’s health

If you find yourself getting angry with your child or spouse a lot, here are some ways to deal with anger:

1. Count to ten – take a breath and count. allow yourself the break

2. Take a timeout / physically walk away and remove yourself from the situation

3. Practice meditation or breathing exercises

4. Exercise – releases happy hormones and relieves stress

5. Understand why you are mad – we often get mad at our kids when we are actually frustrated or mad at something else. Identify exactly what you are mad at and figure out if you can change it

6. Self-Acceptance or acceptance …

Stop Shoulding On Your Kid – Love the Child You Have, Not the One You Want – Dudes To Dads Ep 132

As fathers, we may have an idea of how things should be. We “should” all over everyone. We often have high expectations. This may be expectations for ourselves, our spouses, and yes, even our children.

But what happens when we think something should go a certain way and it doesn’t or our kid should be a certain way and they are not? What do we do? We love them unconditionally, regardless of what we think they should do or be.

For example:

My kid is not good at sports – Yes physical exercise is important, but the likelihood they are going to be a professional athlete is 0. Why is this so important to you? Maybe because you played sports?

My kid is not very smart – Do they simply need some extra help? Are there other things that are distracting them. When kids find things interesting, they are typically more eager to learn.

My kid is messy and can’t clean up – I think this is common as they learn behavior over time. But really look at your own behavior. Are you cleaning up after yourself as well?

My kid moves too slow – Very common once again. Their brains just don’t process the information as fast as adults. They may also be a “smell the roses” kind of personality that can be different from you.

My kid doesn’t seem to have common sense – They need to be taught the ways of the world. You OB1 can teach them things.

My kid doesn’t have any ambition – Why is success or ambition so important? Do you feel they will struggle? What if they are happy with where they are at? Ambition and success do not equal happiness

My kid doesn’t have a good work ethic – Similar to …

The Biggest Parenting Mistakes Dads Make – Dudes To Dads Podcast Ep 131

Believe it not, we as dads are not perfect.  Of course, it’s important to identify our mistakes so we can fix them.  Here are 10 parenting mistakes dads make:

1) Leaving the parenting up to mom

2) Trying to solve problems instead of showing empathy

3) Not providing enough affection

4) Not spending enough quality time with their kids

5) Doing too much for the kids not thinking they are capable (ie. getting them dressed, cleaning up after them)

6) Living through their children (music, sports, education)

7) Aggressive punishment (yelling, spanking)

8) Expectation is too high

9) Underestimating their child

10) Not regulating the food/candy they eat (too much sugar)…

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