The reason for this episode is not that I needed to complain or get something off my chest. It really is intended so that dads out there listening understand that what they are feeling, is very common and they are not alone.
A lot of people struggle, including myself, with trying to figure life out. I think that the time when your kids are young, from newborn to 3-4 is the hardest.
Of course it is always easy to compare yourself to others and what you see around you. This guy has more money, that guy seems to have a great marriage, that other guy always seems happy.
Remember, it’s not about what level of anything you achieved, but your self acceptance of that level. If you are always trying to attain perfection or even lofty goals, you may never achieve acceptance of where you are.
This doesn’t mean you can’t improve things but what if you took a different approach. What if you looked at the various components of your life and evaluated where you were in the past and where you are now. Jason goes on to give the example o the podcast and comparing where it was a year ago with where it is now.
Here are the 4 areas that are covered in the episode:
1) Professionally – Our job or career. Are we doing our life’s purpose or are we doing this because it pays our bills? It’s really difficult if you aren’t doing something you enjoy. If you are an entrepreneur, it can be even more difficult. So what do you do? Ask yourself, what do other people often say you are good at? That’s probably what you should be doing. Even if you make less money, it may be worth exploring to be happy.
2) Financial – being a provider for your family is so stressful. Especially when you feel like you are never making enough money to provide a lifestyle that you want for your family. You may live paycheck to paycheck. Parkinson’s Law says that no matter how much you make, you’ll spend the entire amount and then a little more. So what should you do? Begin learning what you can do to take control of your finances. Get professional help in this area.
3) Relationship – Sometimes you don’t have the energy to put towards your relationship. Or your spouse doesn’t have the energy. You start keeping relationship score. You hear a lot of people getting divorced and they have young kids. It isn’t the kids causing a divorce but certainly the elements that we are talking about are contributing factors. So what should you do? First, talk to your spouse. Communication is the single most important element in reducing the issues. If that doesn’t seem to work, consider getting a counselor.
4) Physical – There is a big correlation between depression and people not taking care of themselves whether it be over eating or lack of exercise. You just don’t feel good. When people are unhappy, they may consume things that aren’t good for them or become more sedentary. So what should you do? First figure out what the cause is. Then figure out what you are capable of doing. Start small. Maybe its go for a walk at night. You know yourself. You know how you are best motivated. Do you need an accountability partner? You just have to make the decision to do something.
We do care about the dad community. A lof of dads are struggling in their lives. It’s not an easy time to go through. If anyone needs help or has questions, please reach out. We would love to speak with you.