Episode 126 we discuss patience. We learn why we lose our patience and what to do about it. I think it’s important to understand why we lose our patience. What is it about situations that cause us to go wacky? Here are a few I have witnessed:
1) Expectations – You set yourself up for failure. you think something should be going a certain way and it doesn’t happen that way. Expectations can be a killer.
2) Tired – Sleep is essential. When you are sleep deprived it’s really easy to be irritable and lost patience.
3) Hungry – Some people get hangry. But low blood sugar or being hungry can cause some people to act abnormal.
4) Displaced Anger – Are you really mad at your wife, co-worker, or friend? Being in a bad place certain shows up with us acting out on someone else..often times our children.
5) Stress – Are you feeling financial stress? Is there family drama that you have to deal with? These stressers can certainly cause you to have low patience.
So how can we learn to be more patient?
1) Express gratitude – When their room is a complete mess 24 hours after it was cleaned, you can think about how they live in the moment. They are active and adventurous.
2) Choose your battles – Think about how important or not important the situation is. If you are 5 minutes later than you want is it going to cause a big problem? Is this life and death?
3) Take a break – Simply walk away from the situation and give yourself some time calm down.
4) Take 5 deep breathes – Breathing can help slow your heart rate and gives you the time to pause. After you take 5 deep breathes you typically are much more calm than before.
5) Count to 10 – Like breathing, counting gives you a small break to think before you act. This short break can help provide some calmness to a potential chaotic situation.
6) Face your anger – The displaced anger that may have caused you to be impatient probably needs to be dealt with. Don’t let it linger. Figure out what is causing it and deal with it.
7) Put your hand on your heart – This allows you to connect with your heart. Instead of always thinking your way through a situation, try feeling. When you put your hand on your heart and feel the heartbeat, it has an effect of slowing you down and approaching the situation potentially with empathy.
8) Re-set your expectations – Realize your expectations may have been too high. Were you trying to get to 3 different birthday parties in one day? Maybe 2 would have been enough. Are you running behind on getting the kids to school? They aren’t going to jail for being late. you can plan better next time.
9) Plan ahead – A perfect example of this is the morning routine to get the kids to school. Make lunches the night before, have them set out their clothes the night before. Post a schedule.