Alan & Jason discuss when one parent is preferred by the child over the other. When a child is first born, men often feel like they are not as connected to the baby as they would desire. If your wife is breastfeeding, you can really help your wife but you can’t substitute what she offers to the baby. Sure you can hold the baby, feed it, change it, but it’s not exactly the same as she has had the baby inside her for over 9 months.
Jason tells some stories about how his kids prefered his wife over him. The reality is that very young children typically prefer the parent they spend the most time with. It’s important to communicate with your spouse and allow the “not as favored parent” some alone time with the baby.
1) Never respond in a negative way – Even if the kids is being negative, don’t respond that way. Really bad thing to say would be “You didn’t want me to do it yesterday!”
2) React with Empathy – If your child says “I want mommy!” answer with “I hear you want mommy and know you really love mommy” It’s important that the child feels heard.
3) Ensure each parent strikes a balance between work and fun – The child may perceive one parent as “work” and the other as “fun”. When dad comes home it’s PLAYTIME.
4) Formulate a predictable schedule – alternating duties so the child isn’t thinking mom doesn’t want to read to us tonight, instead dad is reading because it’s monday. He always reads on Mondays.
5) Above all, focus on love and respect – Always work to maintain the loving connection. Kindness respect, and love are crucial no matter what